Bionic Beauty and Beyond

Recently, I joined an esteemed panel of women to speak to urban teenagers at a Hip Hop for Life Event called Shades of Beauty. Organizers Tanisha Tate and Ianna Small invited as mentors for the day, in their words: “The honorable Sharon Heyward, Wonderful Author/TV Personality, Abiola Abrams (me!), The Fabulous Kim Cooper, and The Lovely Model Rowthania Moulton.” Our objective was to speak to these mostly African American and Latina students about beauty. When I arrived,I was a bit concerned that many of us on the panel had straightened hair. Hair is a huge beauty issue for women of color and I was quietly worried about reinforcing stereotypes that naturally curly Afrocentric hair is less beautiful or less powerful. However, as we started to speak as a group about families and self-worth we were much more powerful that hair, skin color, or other surface issues.

We broke into groups to create collages of what true beauty meant. I was wearing a tiara and a shirt that said “I am a Beautiful Person.” The shirt was given to me as a gift by Paper Magazine and H&M after they named me one of their 50 Most Beautiful People for 2008. As we poured through magazines ranging from Essence to Seventeen, I explained to the girls that the reason I was wearing a tiara was to remind us to hold our heads high. It is impossible to bow your head or lower your eyes when wearing a crown. I went on to explain to them that although they were not physically wearing crowns, that there was an invisible crown there earned by the strength of their ancestors, no matter where they had come from or what their current situation was now. In my favorite part of the day, we crumbled and tossed photos that made us feel ugly, insignificant or exploited.

Today the fabu publisher of the blog Bionic Beauty posed a question, “How do you, Abiola, achieve power beauty?” Elementary, my dear BB. I have a personal motto: ‘Beauty on the outside is all that matters but beauty on the outside is so much fun,’ so I will speak on both. I actually write about this in my novel Dare where the main character Maya is having what she calls an Ugly Day.

I, Abiola, achieve power beauty by making a new deal every day with the woman in my mirror and the little girl inside of my soul. I promise that no matter what, I will “pay myself” with love and compassion first. I pledge that I will make choices that honor the goddess that I am. I resolve that if I slip, fall or stumble, as we all do, I will move forward with a knowing that I am always still connected to my higher self. And on days when all of this still doesn’t work, I wink at the chick in the mirror and say, “Okay, cutie pie. Today, we’re gonna fake it until we make it,” just as my character Maya does in Dare. Then I stand up tall, raise my head and my shoulders, flash a trillion dollar smile and try share it with the world. This is true bionic beauty. The rest is just drag.

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