I'm Abiola and this is The Passionista Playbook, a blog about living your most passionate life. This is also the home of my web TV talk show "Kiss & Tell TV" where I've been keeping it scandalous since 08.
Here's where to find Love, Sex and Dating Advice; Food, Parties and Recipes; and Fun Adventures. I'm an MTV "Made" Teen Dating Empowerment Coach, author of the future bestseller "The Official Bombshell Handbook" and a lifestyle columnist for sites from gURL.com to Yahoo Shine. As seen from Essence Magazine to The New York Times; From MTV to HBO.
Heads up, rockstars!! If you know millionaires looking to be matched by Patti, #MillionaireMatchmaker is casting: http://t.co/C7CCVH6R8:57 PM - 27 January 2012
@JonathanValdez Puh-lease. Don't even pretend to be blushing over there!! lol8:56 PM - 27 January 2012
Exclusive Interview: Josie Stevens’ Married to Rock Sinthetics Love Doll Creator Matt Krivicke (VIDEO)
Sinthetics Doll created and Photographed by Matt Krivicke.
Passionista Principle: To each his or her own.
Matt Krivicke plays with dolls for a living but it’s not what you think. He is the creator of Sinthetics Dolls, which were featured on the E! reality show Married to Rock.
On Episode 3 of Married to Rock Hello Kitty obsessed rock wife Josie Stevens creates a life sized, anatomically correct sex doll as a gift for her rocker guitarist husband Steve Stevens. Josie wanted the “Josie doll” to keep hubbie Steve company on the road with Billy Idol. Wowza!
Love Doll For Sale!
I have to confess that the whole anatomically correct life sized doll thing kind of creeped me out after seeing movies likeLars and the Real Girl which co-starred a RealDoll. Then I had a great conversation with Sinthetics Doll creator Matt Krivicke, creator of the Sinthetics Josie doll, and learned that Matt is a regular guy, not a serial killer making sex dolls in a garage in the mountains. Matt’s human breathing girlfriend Bronwen even helps him to make up and dress the synthetic Sinthetics Dolls.
Abiola Abrams: Matt! Nice meeting you. I’ve never met a life sized, anatomically correct Love Doll maker before. Forgive my bluntness but I need to know. Do you have a doll fetish, Matt?
Matt Krivicke: I do not have a doll fetish. I do however, think the dolls are really cool. I have always looked at them as primarily art over sexual function. Sinthetics prefers referring to them from now on as “manikins” to try to reduce the stigma that is often applied to the dolls. People hear that I make “dolls” and they say “wow, that is creepy”. I have asked why they consider it creepy. Just because it is a doll?
Abiola: Interesting. Tell me more.
Matt: People hear that term and apply a definition to it whereas when referred to as manikins, perhaps they will not be so quick to judge. Maybe if the term manikins doesn’t fly we could just go with action figures! That was always my speed growing up, I played with all sorts of action figures from GI Joes to Star Wars figures.
These [Synthetics] dolls certainly have a lot more “action” in them though than the ones I used to play with. I don’t know though, whatever they are called I feel comfortable. I have developed a pretty thick skin over the years and I don’t much care what others think, as long as I am able to keep making people happy with my art, I am really quite lucky.
Abiola: Now you were kind enough to explain to me your history with RealDoll vs. Sinthetics. I have to say legally that we have not asked them for their side of the story but Josie Stevens on Married to Rock looked super happy with your Love Doll work. Matt, are you positioning Sinthetics Dolls as a competitor for the more well-known love doll company RealDoll?
Matt: Simply, Yes… more than that though. My personal aim has always been to make cool things. I would like to take this technology and try to apply it to as many things as possible. I see that there are markets that no other doll company is even thinking about. I am very interested in seeing where else we can go with it. I hope I can convince the owners that there is more to this product than just making love dolls. They trust my vision though which is why they came to me so I think the sky is the limit. Time will tell.
Abiola: Now, Matt, I love that Josie Stevens was bold and crazy enough to have a sex doll of herself made for her rock and roll man, Steve. Is Josie the only woman you know of who bought a sex doll for her mate?
Matt: There have been many people who buy the dolls for their partners, either as collectibles or for the non-competitive third play partner to spice up the relationship. I have seen it all and I am rarely surprised at the reasons we are given by clients purchasing the dolls.
Abiola: What was it like to work with Josie Stevens on the love doll?
Sinthetics Doll by Matt Krivicke
Matt: Josie is about as fun as they get. She was really a blast to get to know, super cool and laid back and she was really easy to work with.
Abiola: Do you like Josie’s E! Network reality show Married to Rock?
Matt: My girlfriend and I watch every episode of Married to Rock, we love every minute of it.
Abiola: Awesome. So what’s the price range of your adult dolls, Matt, and how do people order?
Matt: The Sinthetics are $5,500 each plus shipping and any special upgrades/options the client may ask for. Usually the lead time on these products is about 8-10 weeks because [the dolls] are all individually made to order. The client selects all the options they want, sends a deposit to get into the queue.
When the doll is about to go into final production, they send the remaining balance and the doll will ship in about 3-4 weeks from that time. It’s a very interactive process of selecting the doll options so we typically get to know our clients quite well.
Abiola: Anything else you want my readers of The Passionista Playbook to know about the world of love and sex dolls for men?
Matt: I think my whole opening statement probably covers it! I guess the other thing worth noting is that my girlfriend and I consider ourselves members of the doll community. We both like dolls; Bronwen collects dolls of all sizes, and we really enjoy the clients we deal with, many of whom become friends.
Sinthetics Doll by Matt Krivicke
We consider the business to be a collaboration with the clients on individual art pieces. In this vein we also take the dolls out in public as often as we can to do photography, and we find that the general public is always receptive. We’ve never had a bad experience taking the dolls out and photographing them. If any of your readers have questions, don’t hesitate to ask.
Abiola: Thanks, Matt for graciously answering my questions about your lifelike love and sex dolls. It was a fun. ———
Can Mixing Love & Religion Work? Take II. I said yes, but this viewer says no…
My favorite part of The Passionista Playbook is dialogue. I cover the topics you tell me you want to know more about. I love when viewers talk back. Like when I made a video asking Does Size Matter?and then two viewers made their own size matters videos. I love dialoging with you on the chat box, twitter, facebook and youtube.
Last week my love advice vlog was about Interfaith Relationships. I offered a series of helpful questions that you should ask yourself to help you figure out mixing religions and love would work for you. Basically my point was that, yes of course interfaith relationships could work, but you have to work ‘em.
We had a great conversation going about love and religion on the youtube page but one married viewer disagreed ExceptionalChic04 and made a video to express her personal beliefs.
In the video below she tells here why Interfaith Relationships Would Never Work For Her. Watch YouTuber ExceptionalChic04- Thanks for sharing your thoughts Ms. Exceptional!
Thanks for the great post, ExceptionalChic04! If you’d like to be considered as a guest blogger like EC04 for The Passionista Playbook get in touch and send your love, sex, dating, relationships or lifestyle related post for consideration.
He lay under her violet canopy, between her emerald green satin sheets quoting her former’s stupidity. She wasn’t aware that the New Lover had met the Old Love but recognized instantly the thin justification under the words traded across drinks, for sins, since annulled, too numerous to recount. Still, she didn’t hold this hyper-quoting against him because she wanted him to hold something against her. Something like his insatiable mind or warrior spirit, but she would have settled for a hard hug.
He doubted her because he didn’t understand what conservatives didn’t want him to understand yet knew very well: that the war has many fronts, that every subversive should not wave a bright yellow subversive flag, that folded within pop were many nuances for hiding kujichagulia, and that some of us needed to ride within the cultural radar like the subway boys balancing between cars, hovering just above the third rail to pull The Rest in. Over. Free.
He doubted her ‘cause he was mistakin’ her stuff for dusty deity myths of sacred females. Funny. She fell into his reflection, inhaled and almost drowned, swimming to safety in disparate (not desperate) text messages. Where had she come from all of a sudden? He couldn’t be too careful. Hypocrites and liars abound.
She was bored with the many unasked-for suitors and their roses (packaged not picked), diamonds (blood not free), dinners (expensive not nutritious), and over-obvious compliments – recycled not hot. She washed her hair often.
He had dealt her just a taste, cracked like crack, one kiss, and she was hooked. Unlike her fellow addicts who could find their fix on any urban street corner: Soweto, London, Bahia, any MLK Blvd USA, there was only one spot to get hers and the supply was slow in coming because he had studied the seduction powerbook. She craved him and as insane as it was she decided to wait. Sanity was overrated and it had been months since it was done right.
So she waited, as improbable as waiting was. Her life had never been built on probability anyway. Odds were that she shoulda had 3 kids by 21. Odds were that at least one of their no good baby daddies woulda been locked up, sending beggin-assed requests for commissary change and photos with jacked up poems while he assembly-line stitched the designer sneakers he needed the change to buy. Odds were.
New to the rules and totally game-less she could only say exactly what she really thought without the requisite masks, grins or lies. She opened her mouth and out dropped a flat foot. He put it in his pocket and left. So her freedom apartment remained un-christened. She wanted him to come through her doors. Enter her mural. Write a story on her backside. Take it. She was already tied up. He made her nervous. Jittery. ‘Cause she needed a fix.
Saving oneself was a quaint first world Victorian concept that had somehow followed her third world self into this millennium. Being shy didn’t help. Her slutty single sister-enablers had tried to assist, passing 8th grade-like notes through his phone lines. Same sex education follies. Sixth grade was the last time that she’d had extensive contact with male people on a daily basis and she was still catching up.
F*ck. The unsolicited suitors kept leaving shit at her door to trip on– tickets to this, that, and there. Incomplete, unmelodic songs with lyrics she hated. Rhetoric. But he didn’t call so there was no bad girl sex to be had. Yet. She washed her hair again.
Sir Elton John is Now a Father: The Piano Man & Husband Welcome a Son
Cheers!
Break out only the most expensive cigars, exclusive diapers, platinum baby rattles and couture toddler wear. Sir Elton John and his husband David Furnish have a new bouncing baby boy in their family. Huzzah, hooray and welcome baby Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John to the glam rock life! Not only does your legendary musician daddy Elton John have quite a name to live up to, but with your own five monikers, you already have a bold name of your own.
Baby Zachary was born via surrogate mother and Elton John joins a growing list of out and proud celebrity gay parents. Thankfully out gay parents barely raise an eyebrow anymore. This has been helped along by a spate of famous gay men and women who have chosen to become parents in a myriad of ways. Having two mommies or two daddies will soon be as common as other types of diversity in families such as interfaith or interracial love.
Gay celebrity couples are exploring many paths to parenthood. In 2010 actor Neil Patrick Harris and partner David Burtka welcomed the birth of twins Gideon and Harper, also via a surrogate mother. Ricky Martin is the father of twins born of a surrogate womb as well, little Matteo and Valentino Martin. American Idol singer Clay Aiken became a father with good friend Jaymes Foster. Foster was artificially inseminated at 50 years old and the two are said to share in parenting duties. Law and Order actor B.D. Wong has a son who is the product of his former male partner’s sister’s egg and BD’s sperm. Got it?
Not to be outdone by their gay male brethren, the famous lesbian parents are also making their mark. Perhaps the most famous in this group is gay adoption advocate Rosie O’Donnell, who continues to co-parent her four children with ex partner Kelli Carpenter Their unified brood is a mix of adopted children and a daughter birthed by Kelli. Ellen DeGeneres and wife Portia de Rossi don’t yet have children but Ellen tells “People Magazine” that they discuss the possibilities every few months.
“Sex and The City” star Cynthia Nixon has been on the January-February cover of “Gay Parent Magazine.” She says that her two kids (made the old fashioned way) have four parents, her stay at home Mom partner Christine Mariononi, her ex Danny Mozes, and his partner. Melissa Etheridge caused a stir with her who-is-the-sperm-donor controversy but folks hardly gossip about that anymore. Wanda Sykes’ wife Alex Sykes gave birth to their twins Olivia Lou and Lucas Claude.
Not everyone is excited about this progressive trend however.
Openly gay actor Rupert Everett ranted and raved about gay parents as reported by the ‘Daily Mail”— and not in a good way. Everett reportedly said that surrogacy for homosexual couples is “utterly horrendous” and called gay fathers “egocentric and vain.” The “Daily Beast” reports that Everett complained, “And these endless IVF treatments people go through. I mean, if you are meant to have babies then great. But this whole idea of two gay guys filling a cocktail shaker with their sperm and impregnating some grim lesbian and then it gets cut out is just really weird.” Wow. Sounds like he may have an issue.
Nonetheless we say a hearty congrats to the Piano Man Elton John and his hubby. We are excited for his family and certain that he will make for a kind, caring, fun, thoughtful and wonderfully extravagant father. And for this, we are so grateful.
Sources:
“Ellen & Portia: We Talk about Having Kids.” People.com. 21, August, 2008.
Fleeman, Mike. “Pals Say Clay Aiken Will Be a ‘Good Parent.” People.com. 3, June, 2008.
LaGorce, Tammy. “I’m a pretty hands-on mom. But also, my kids have four parents!” Babble. 1, April, 2010.
“Rupert Everett attacks ‘egocentric and vain’ gay men who father children.” Daily Mail. 8, April, 2009.
Sessums, Kevin. “Rupert Everett Unleashed.” Daily Beast. 6, April, 2009.
Unique First Date Ideas for New Yorkers: Fun & Romantic
First dates can either be heaven or hell depending on who you’re with and the circumstances, trust mama!
Here are 5 unique NYC first date activities. Check them out! Then once you know what to where you’re going you can get yourself together- look good, smell good and have fun.
The fact that you’ve come up with a unique first date idea will show that you are creative and adventurous. Now the rest is up to you..
FIRST DATES! 5 UNIQUE & FUN NYC DATING IDEAS
1. The Transit Museum – Date Night With History
Going to the movies is not a great first date idea because you don’t get a chance to talk and know each other. The Transit Museum in Brooklyn gives you a chance to hang out in a fun setting and really get to see what someone is made of. Activity dates tell you a great deal about a person – can they let go and have fun, what do they value, are they open to new ideas…
2. Ghenet Restaurant – Ethiopian Date Night in Brooklyn
Ghenet Restaurant is one of the best places to get Ethiopian food in Brooklyn. It’s a sweet, romantic and intimate location. The fact that you have to eat with your hands at Ghenet makes it a sensual and tactile experience. Whether you lick your fingers or your date’s is up to you although that may be utterly unfab and a bit much for a first date.
3. Red Rooster Restaurant – First Date In Harlem
Red Rooster is Marcus Samuelsson’s new Harlem hot spot. If you’re looking to impress someone this is where you want to bring them. Hold on, though, don’t rush right over. You need to make a reservation first.
4. Brooklyn Bowl – Date Night With Music
Brooklyn Bowl is not your daddy’s bowling alley. Brooklyn Bowl is a rocking musical oasis that you have to experience. Warning: Only go here for a first date if you both have interest in the same music. You can groove to each other’s musical tastes on the second date. You don’t want to get off on the wrong musical foot before seeing if you’re compatible in other ways first.
5. Museum of Natural History – Museum First Date
My favorite school class trips growing up included this museum. You can celebrate Kwanzaa this year at The Museum of Natural History. It’s a cool experience to hare a cultural event with someone whether it’s your culture or not. You can learn a lot about somebody this way.
BONUS: I was headed to a first date recently at a wine tasting and had a wardrobe malfunction. No other stores were open so I discovered Beacon’s Closet vintage shopping in New York City.
THE LIFESTYLE PASSIONISTA RULES ON LIVING YOUR DREAMS:
PASSION UP!
Another new year is almost here, the time when once again we set New Year’s Resolutions, vow to stop procrastinating and try to set it off with a new lease on life. We all want the same thing. We want to live our dreams. But how do we do that?
Last year I was a of an HP Netbook campaign on living your dreams — videos below. They asked for my personal rules on “How to Live Your Dreams” and I am thrilled to share them with you now. Happy New YOU, Rockstar!
How To Live Your Amazing Dreams!
1) BELIEF and HOPE are not the same thing. Many of you hit me up asking how to live your dreams — how to write YOUR own BOOKS, shoot YOUR own FILMS and create YOUR TV. Question: Are you hoping or believing? Think about it.
BELIEVE, believe, believe with your language AND your actions.
2) GRATITUDE. What are you grateful for? I am grateful for you reading my blogs, watching my videos, and grateful for getting to know you. Thank you for helping me to live my dreams. Because of YOU, Busta Rhymes, Young Lloyd, Eric Benet and LL Cool J call me when they have a new project. Thank you!
I’m just getting started, but I am grateful. Wherever YOU with your goals right now, be GRATEFUL.
3) MENTORSHIP. So many great people have asked me to mentor them and I can’t because of time— otherwise I would never get my books and shows done. I tell them to USE ME though.
Your mentors don’t have to know that they are your mentors. Read their books, watch their work, interact with them online, subscribe to everything they have — study them!! TAKE the knowledge you need to succeed. If you’re an aspiring lawyer, find a mentor & STUDY her.
4) RISK. Don’t fear NEW things. LEARN by doing. Jump in! Be about it– not just talk about it. Express yourself.
5) POSITIVITY. Are you somebody that passes your negativity on to others? Sometimes I read so many nasty comments online it makes my stomach hurt. You beef and gripe then on positive blog posts you say nothing.
Be conscious of what YOU are giving off. There are only two true emotions: Love and Fear. Which one are you sharing? Speak also to yourself with love. We may not always succeed, but we dust ourselves off, try again and get better.
6) CREATE. DIY. Do for self. If you want to write a book, don’t wait for permission. WRITE– for 15 minutes every day. If you want to create TV or film — GO FOR IT. With a computer & a phone that has a camera you can create anything. Don’t have a video camera? Get creative with stills.
Although I had a book deal with Simon and Schuster I used social media to share and sell books! Even though I have hosted TV shows like The Buzz for HBO, Source Hip Hop News for NBC or The Best Shorts on BET, I created MY OWN web shows. I will ALWAYS be on the web with you & DOING for SELF!
7) HAVE FUN & SEEK JOY. My life is FUN and my WORK is FUN! Not every day in every area, of course, but I am always REACHING for JOY. Like you, I’m a HUGE work in progress. My main goal is to be better than I was yesterday.
COMMUNITY. No man or woman is an island. We don’t make it alone. If you have unsupportive people in your life get rid of them.
9) SHARE. Using pop culture to empower and entertain in unexpected ways has always been my mission. MY MOTTO is if you don’t like who’s representing you, REPRESENT YOURSELF.
It’s not easy sharing my life, loves and fears in books or on “reality TV.” It’s a RISK but it’s my job to represent myself and those like me. NOW I am excited to see what YOU create. I know how much TALENT you have. You came to the PLANET with a PURPOSE.
10) RISE AND SHINE ON. Of course there are HATERS in any community who have loud voices, but I love that the beautiful people here ALWAYS shine through! I see you shining. BE a Shameless Self-Promoter.
***MY MAIN RULE: BE your FUN, WEIRD, QUIRKY, INDIVIDUAL self and give the rest something to talk about!!
BBC Radio Up All Night: Talking Street Harassment With the Gabby Cabby
I love the BBC.
This was the second time that I was invited to co-host on the BBCwith Peter Franklin, the hilarious Gabby Cabby– and my first time with the fabulous radio presenter Dotun Adebayo on the BBC Radio Show “Up All Night.” As you know “Multimedia Personality” includes me being a professional big mouth on TV, web and also radio.
I didn’t get into as much trouble as last time when I made an inappropriate joke, thankfully. We spoke about street harassment in New York City and London.You know– psssst, pssst, hey baby! Hey sexy… You look good…
Listen to the BBC Radio show “Up Al Night” here! Abiola Talks Street Harassment on the BBC with the Gabby Cabby and Dotun Adebayo.
We love giveaways here atThe Passionista Playbook. We give things away here on the lifestyle blog, live in NYC at the Kiss and Tell Live Revue, and of course on our weekly web TV series Abiola on LSD: Love, Sex, Dating and Drama.
In addition to makeup, skin care products, music and movies, we often give guests adult sex toysand ask them to gift us with a review. So far, the only blogger courageous enough to actually send a promised review is LexiB, the smart and sexy “lifestyle enthusiast.” Here’s LexiB’s review of the BCute Discrete Vibrator by BSwish, syndicated from her blog.
Things That Go Swish: BCute Review by LexiB
I love receiving packages in the mail, expected and otherwise. So what better way to wake up in the morning to step outside with my morning OJ than to find a nice-sized inconspicuous brown box sitting patiently at my door? Its contents however, were not a surprise.
My special gift and Abiola’s way of saying thank you for my participation came in the form of a bottle of watermelon-flavored lube but the honor of sensual ceremony was a new smooth and sleek sex toy called the bcute curve by bswish.
The bcute curve vibrator is a 3″ multi-speed curved silicone personal massager that works excellently for the one who is looking for her first sex toy and/or for the couple who desires an unintimidating way to kick off some steamy foreplay. Its curved design is splendid for those who want to explore g-spot stimulation. (And who wouldn’t?)
Another great feature is that the bcute curve is waterproof so move over, rubber duckie because bathtime just became more fun. Modern sex toys are more discreet and less gawky which is why I’m a fan of the bswish adult toy line and what they have to offer.
The bcute curve is available in royal purple, petal pink and rose, and it also comes with a cute carrying pouch for easy travel! For more info about bswish visit our friends at AdultSexToys.com where the bcute curve is on sale for only $18.99.
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Thanks for the great post, LexiB! If you’d like to be considered as a guest blogger like LexiB for The Passionista Playbook get in touch and send your love, sex, dating, relationships or lifestyle related post for consideration.
Giving back for HIV and AIDS Awareness in Harlem with Nasir Jones: Christmas Dinners for 200 Families
Model Angellika Morton, Rapper Nas, TV Personality Abiola Abrams in Harlem, Frame Grab from the MTV News video below.
On Wednesday I was pleased to join Nas, my absolutely favorite rapper on the planet, and restaurateur Melba Wilson as they supported AIDS activist Maria Davis‘ 2nd Annual Christmas Dinner in Harlem for 200 HIV and AIDS affected families. The event was coordinated in part by my incredible publicist Yvette Hayward of the African American Literary Awards. My girlie Angellika Morton was there, as was Kwame Jackson of The Apprentice who presented Nas with a tie from his celebrity line.
As regular Planet Abiola Rockstars know, HIV and AIDS awareness is a big mission and focus of my personal activism and my Safe Sex Pledge so it was critical for me to be there. As Michael Jackson and Nas’ music played we stood in a serving line Nas was on macaroni and cheese duty and I was on salad duty. They joked that I was the salad nazi because I insisted that people eat the green stuff along with potato salad. Heck yeah! The food, of course, was provided by Melba’s Restaurant.
Abiola, Autumn, Nas Harlem is my community so it was wonderful to take part!
This was so rewarding to support a cause near and dear to my heart.
The fab Rahman Dukes of MTV News interviewed Nas, video below.
Here’s what Nas told Rahman Dukes about HIV and AIDS awareness:
NAS: “This event is Maria Davis’ thing. She’s HIV-positive, a part of the community of Harlem, so she does her thing for [the] holiday season for the people who are infected by AIDS or affected by AIDS,” he explained to MTV News. “I came through [on the] strength of her friend Melba, who owns Melba’s Restaurant — great soul food on 114th street here in Harlem. She called me [and] I came through just for the support… For me, it’s like I can’t get away from the community. The community is in me so giving back is important.”
Cheers!
joins a growing list of out and proud celebrity gay parents. Thankfully out gay parents barely raise an eyebrow anymore. This has been helped along by a spate of famous gay men and women who have chosen to become parents in a myriad of ways. Having two mommies or two daddies will soon be as common as other types of diversity in families such as interfaith or interracial love. 
First dates can either be heaven or hell depending on who you’re with and the circumstances, trust mama! 
THE LIFESTYLE PASSIONISTA RULES ON LIVING YOUR DREAMS: 
COMMUNITY. No man or woman is an island. We don’t make it alone. If you have unsupportive people in your life get rid of them.
I love the BBC. 
