Monthly Archives January 2011

How To Keep Him Coming Back for More: What A Married Woman Wants Single Women To Know (Guest Blogger)

Keep Him Coming Back: What A Married Woman Wants Single Women To Know (Guest Blogger)
Passionista Principle: “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” ~Groucho Marx

A couple of days ago the fabulous married diva Kimora Lee Simmons shared her exclusive relationship tips for “How To Make Love Work” here on The Passionista Playbook and now we have author, mother and wife Ci Ci Foster checking in with her dating tips and love advice for single women.


Warning: We know that some of our readers are completely happy and purposefully single women. These dating tips are for the single woman who wants to be in a relationship. As for the purposefully single women most already know how to keep them coming back for more. Read Bad Girl Sex. Kidding…  

How To Keep Him Coming Back by Ci Ci Foster

Fresh Flowers - Purple Dendrobium OrchidsWith Valentine
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posted by Guest Contributor, 30th January 2011 , Categories: Guest Contributor, Marriage, Relationships, single women Tags: , , , , , ,

Gary Vaynerchuk's Wine Recommendations for My Romantic Vodka BBQ Orange Chicken Recipe

Gary Vaynerchuk’s Wine Recommendations for My Vodka BBQ Orange Chicken – Bombshell Cooking Exclusive
My Orange BBQ Vodka Chicken: Perfect for game day with a crowd or one on one.
Passionista Principle: “The best marketing strategy ever: Care.” ~Gary Vaynerchuk
Hey Rockstars,
Libbey Sociable All Purpose Wine Goblet, Set of 12I am a huge devotee of Gary Vaynerchuk, the host of Wine Library TV. When I learned that he was pre-taping some calls for “Wine and Web” his Sirius XM Radio Show I jumped at the chance to ask for his expert wine advice.
A couple of weeks ago I was asked to create the perfect man-friendly Superbowl recipe so I invented an incredible Orange Barbecue Vodka Chicken Recipe- yum! And even though the JETS crashed and burned, my orange bbq recipe still rocks.

My vino question to Gary Vee: “Gary, what wine would you recommend to go with this BBQ Chicken PLUS Orange and Vodka recipe on a sexy and romantic night?”

 
GARY VAYNERCHUK’s WINE RECOMMENDATIONS…
 1. MUSCAT WINE. First Gary mentioned a Muscat then he said to cross that off so MUSCAT. But just in case you want to try it on your own I am leaving the Muscat wine here…
2. TORRANTES WINE. Then Gary Vee said that although people feel like he’s been pushing the Argentinian wines too much he would recommend complementing the Vodka BBQ Orange Chicken Recipe with Torrantes, a white Argentian wine. That sounds delish.
3. SOAVE WINE. Finally, Mr. Gary Vaynerchuk also said to try a Soave, wine not to be confused with a Soave Bolla. The White Soave is inexpensive too. Only 12 to 15 bucks from a smaller winery.
And there you have it! Wine recommendations from Gary Vaynerchuk to accompany my Bombshell Cooking. It doesn’t get much better than that. I haven’t tried Gay’s suggestions but I do look forward to it. Look for this to air on his radio show soon.
So what makes you more excited: the L’Orange Absolut Vodka in my Orange Barbecue Chicken recipe or Gary Vaynerchuk’s wine recommendations? Uh-huh. Bon appetit!
Thanks for reading! You may also want to check out: Kimora Lee Simmons Interview, Adapting Marilyn Monroe’s Stuffing Recipe, Positive Affirmation Cards, Salad Recipes, Guyanese Chick Pea Recipe,  Grilled Salmon Recipe Video and How to Put On A Condom.
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posted by Abiola, 29th January 2011 , Categories: Food Tags: , , , , , , ,

MTV 'Made': Abiola & Austin; Ladies Man Atlanta Episode Preview (VIDEO)

Austin & Abiola on MTV’s Made: Atlanta Ladies Man Episode Sneak Peek, Video Below.

Passionista Principle: “Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.“ ~Michael Jordan

 Yay! My episode of MTV’s MADE premiered today. I am the MTV Made Ladies Man Coach to Future President Mr. Austin B., who was amazing to work with. I really wish that you had seen the full 30-days-long process all of the fun dating activities and confidence building adventures I put Austin through while I was in Atlanta. 

I’ll make sure to roll out some of these Love, Dating & Empowerment lessons from my MTV Made Coach process for Austin over the coming weeks. Meanwhile: How to Be A Ladies Man Without Being A Gross Disgusting Pig?

Watch & enjoy!

Whoo Hoo!! You may also like Kimora Lee Simmons’ Love Advice, How to Talk To Your Teens About Sex, Positive Printable Affirmations and Essence Magazine Love Tips.
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posted by Abiola, 29th January 2011 Tags: , , , , , ,

Kimora Lee Simmons’ Relationship Advice: Life In The Fab Lane (Part 2 + AUDIO)

Kimora Lee Simmons’ Love Tips and Relationship Advice: Life In The Fab Lane, Season 4 (Interview Part 2)
Passionista Principle: “I know how to be a very supporting partner and a very loving partner.” ~Kimora Lee Simmons
We enjoy following Kimora Lee Simmons’ adventures in success and excess on Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane. In part one of our exclusive interview Kimora shared some of the things we’ll see unfolding on this season of the show, including the new fashion line Kouture by Kimora.

Catch the new one-hour episodes of Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane Sunday nights at 9pm ET/PT on the Style Network. 

In the lane of love and relationships Kimora appears to be successful as well. She manages to be good friends with her ex-husband, hip hop mogul Russell Simmons, and even retains his name as a part of her brand. Most exciting, she and hunky new husband Djimon Hounsou have a seamlessly blended family. When I had the opportunity to interview Kimora about Season 4 of Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane you know that I had to find out her relationship tips, and surprise-surprise, the Fabulosity rules for love are almost the same as the Passionista Dating Credo. Check it out!

Kimora Lee Simmons on Love in the Fab Lane

Abiola: Kimora, there are a lot of men out there giving us women love advice. You’ve got Hill Harper, Steve Harvey in the relationship advice game and now Donny Deutsch. I want to ask you – because I want to talk to a woman, to my sister –

Kimora: None of them know what the hell they are talking about!
Kimora Lee Simmons Barbie Doll
Abiola: No, Girl! That’s why I am asking you – because you have a gorgeous husband –

Kimora: Donny Deutsch is a personal friend of mine. I like these people. I’m just saying, who are they giving advice to? Women or men? I’ve given Donny advice on many a day.

Abiola: Well, girl, Donny has spun your advice into a new TV show that’s coming out on Bravo!

Kimora: I don’t know about that part, but I just know that watch who you get your advice from, ladies.

Abiola: Exactly! What are the top 3 Kimora relationship tips?

Kimora Relationship Tip #1: Love Yourself.

Kimora: For a relationship, I think one great tip is that you should always love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, take care of yourself, cater to yourself and that little inner voice, you will really not be very worthy of being with someone else, because you won’t be the best version of you.

That’s in any relationship – with your kids, with your parents, with your lover – always love and take care of yourself and don’t feel guilty about taking a little, small moment, spare time, anything, for yourself. Do it for yourself so that you are in a good place to be able to do for others and participate with others.

Number two – what should number two be?

Kimora Love Tip #2: Find a man who is strong, distinguished, sexy, loving and humble.

Abiola: Number two, tell us what you look for in a man. Oprah said it takes a special man to be with a strong and powerful woman.

Kimora: I think it takes a special man to be with a certain kind of a woman, and I think that for me, I look for someone is strong. I feel like my husband is very strong, distinguished, very sexy, very humble, very sweet, very loving, and I think that whatever it is that you like in a relationship, you should look for that in a relationship.
Kimora Love Tip #3:  Don’t allow someone to disrespect you.

Kimora: Don’t accept less than what it is that you know that you want. Don’t allow someone to be a jerk. Don’t allow someone to disrespect you. listen to the bigger voice in your head telling you that you deserve the best, whatever that is – whatever that is you decide you like for yourself. It may differ from what I like or what is ideal for me. But the bottom line is to never accept less than what you know you deserve.

Kimora Love Tip #4: I don’t really think there’s any such thing as being too selective.

Abiola: I’m so glad that you said that, Kimora, because a lot of these men who are giving advice are telling women that they are being too picky, too selective. I say, “You attract what you think that you deserve.”

Fabulosity: What It Is & How to Get ItKimora: You attract what you think you deserve, and I don’t really think there’s any such thing as being too selective or anything like that. At the same token, I know how to play my role and I know how to be a very supporting partner and a very loving partner. Everybody in different stages and times of the day have their own moment to shine.

Kimora Love Tip #5: Sometimes you’re the one shining and sometimes you’re the one supporting.
Kimora: Sometimes you’re the one shining and sometimes you’re the one supporting. I also know how to play my role and my responsibility very well, but at the same time, I don’t think that any of my sisters are being too demanding. I have heard some that are a little cuckoo; they just say things to sound provocative. Let’s assume we’re all thinking rationally and reasonably, then I would say, “You should not settle for less.”

Thanks for reading! Check me out on MTV’s MADE as a Ladies Man Coach. Yay! You may also enjoy: Natural Raw Food Aphrodisiacs, Love, Beauty & Joy Affirmations, Sexual Empowerment Art Exhibit, How A Breast Cancer Scare Changed My Life, How to Be Happy In Life and How to Live Your Dreams.
Hope you enjoyed Kimora Lee Simmons’ Love Tips. You may also enjoy my interviews with Ryan Leslie, Busta Rhymes, LMFAO, the Vistoso Bosses, LL Cool J and Hill Harper.
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posted by Abiola, 27th January 2011 , Categories: Marriage Tags: , , , , , ,

Abiola's 'Essence Magazine' Love & Sex Tips PLUS Video Blog from Damali Abrams

My Essence Magazine Passion Party Love & Sex Tips PLUS Video Blog from Damali Abrams
“Abiola inhales a scented bath salt which includes plumeria, a naturally occurring attractant.”
Passionista Principle: Nobody “needs” sex toys. That’s why they’re called toys.
February is the designated “Month of Love.” Last year I celebrated Love Month (Valentine’s Day + Black History for me!) by posing for the Sex Bloggers Calendar for a good cause. More on that in the coming days. This year I am celebrating the Month of Love by being in Essence Magazine’s Valentine’s Day issue. They created a Passion Party for us to discuss women’s pleasure and sex toys– and every Passion Party needs an official Lifestyle Passionista, right?

Essence (1-year auto-renewal)And the sweetest VDay gift of all, my sister, Damali Abrams, an artist, writer, performer, filmmaker, vlogger, womanist activist you should know, made a Video Blog about me being in Essence Magazine. Check that out below.

Damali actually had me thinking - what if you wanted to know a couple of the tips I shared in Essence but had no inclination, time, funds or racial basis for picking up the magazine? Well then, this is for you. 

In the last Essence post I shared bonus sex toys tips based on the article, below I am sharing some of the actual quotes that I said in the article.

Top Passion Tips I Shared in Essence Magazine
1) About how to help your partner step up his game: I say, “Give encouragement when he hits the spot. A little “Yeah! Yeah!” at the right time can turn your pleasure into a teachable moment.”
2) About not needing sex toys: I say, “Nobody needs them. That’s why they’re called toys.”
3) About White Chocolate Passion Powder: I say, “I love this idea. It makes sex fun, like a game.”
4) About sex toys for singles vs couples: I say, “We must understand that we’re sexual beings even by ourselves. We shouldn’t be waiting for somebody to come along and complete us”.
5) About the discrete mini lipstick vibrator: I say, “If you’re a mom this is perfect for you. Your kids will never go near this.” 
6) About single women dating too much: I say, “Date promiscuously; love monogamously. Dating someone doesn’t mean you’re having sex with them!”



Do you have any passion tips? If so, please share them below!

Thanks for reading! Check me out on MTV’s MADE as a Ladies Man Coach. Yay! You may also enjoy: Natural Raw Food Aphrodisiacs, Love, Beauty & Joy Affirmations, Sexual Empowerment Art Exhibit, How A Breast Cancer Scare Changed My Life, How to Be Happy In Life and How to Live Your Dreams.
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posted by Abiola, 27th January 2011 , Categories: Relationships, single women Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane; Kimora Lee Simmons Gets the Abiola Interview (PART 1)

Kimora & Abiola Talk About Life In The Fab Lane, New Season
Passionista Principle: “I’m a girl’s girl. I’m a woman’s woman. I’m a cool girl. I’m not a bitch. There’s a difference.” ~Kimora Lee Simmons
The lovely Kimora Lee Simmons, mogul, mom, wife, philanthropist, author and entrepreneur, is thrilled about Season 4 of her blockbuster docu-series

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posted by Abiola, 26th January 2011 Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

How to Talk to Your Teens About Sex, Dating & Relationships: Tips & Advice

How to Talk to Your Teens About Love & Relationships
Passionista Principle: There are only two ways to approach any situation: from Love or from Fear.

*This is a guest post that I wrote for the outstanding lifestyle site BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. Visit them for relationship and family posts and advice no matter what your cultural background.

Why Doesn't He Like Me or Love Me Anymore? BreakUp Healing Advice (GUEST BLOGGER)

Breakup Advice: You just got dumped. What do you do when he or she doesn’t want to be with you?
Photo: Ann Davies
Passionista Principle: Sometimes the strongest thing to do is not holding on– but letting go.

Hey Rockstars,

One of the most crushing things is to realize that somebody doesn’t want you in the same way you want them. To break it down to high school terms, “they don’t like you-like you.” Of course this question is easily turned around as, “What Do You Do When She Doesn’t Like You?”


As you know I am The Breakup Whisperer having gone through my own crying on the kitchen floor heartbreaks. My entire debut novel Dare is about recovering from a crazy break up. The relationship advice that today’s guest blogger shares is pretty similar to the love advice I offer in the video below, “How to Heal & Move On After A BreakUp,” and the love post “How To Get Over Him” but these points bear repeating.


Relationships ending are a sad part of life. The most helpful way to think about it is, consider your life as a play or movie. Some characters ride with you from beginning to end and some characters are only in your story for a few scenes or an act. 

Either way, Pink said it best, “So what, you’re still a rock star!” Kiss your wounds. Learn from the breakup experience. Go through the stages and move on. You have new memories to make.


Now what if the heartbreak took place before you even got to relationship status? It happens. Keep reading. These tips on moving on can still help you too. Make a Beach Bucket List and commit yourself to learning to be happy.



 

Help! What do you do when they don’t want you? by Ann Davies


 He doesn’t want you? YOU?! What the hell is he talking about? 

Unfortunately for him he doesn’t get what a prize you are and he has come to the bizarre conclusion that he has had enough of you. He is moving on and as he so kindly put it “So, should you.” When this terrifying news has struck, you have to somehow get up, collect what is yours and give him what is his. In an ideal world you would make a dignified exit with your head held high and no backwards glance. However, as is often the case, you have not been prepared for this. 
10k Gold 3-stone Diamond Heart Pendant with 18" Chain (1/10 Cttw; I-J Color)What we are discussing right now is “What do you do when he doesn’t want you” and not “How do you react when he tells you he doesn’t want you.” Initial reactions are null and void and your chance to go crazy if that is what you feel compelled to do. Seriously, this man was supposed to be your baby daddy. 
Remember, when he used to rub your tummy and talk about how he couldn’t wait to meet junior? And, what about when you were going to take that amazing job offer in another city but he convinced you not to after scaring you with stories of long-distance things not working? Cry, scream, beg, and react after all you are human.

Forced to be alone you find yourself at the “what do you do when he doesn’t want you” stage.

Stage One. Talk:  

Speak to your mum, sister anyone who will listen! As we are all aware, acceptance is the first step, usually this is associated with grieving or coming to terms with addictions and issues. Losing hold of a relationship holds similar emotions. As soon as you are able to process that it is over the quicker you will be able to start moving forward. So, talk it out, go through it all and retrace your steps of what went wrong. Once this has been exhausted you will reach one of two conclusions.

  1. I couldn’t have done any more. You tried your best and worked hard at the relationship. But, he doesn’t want you. So, why do you want him? The answer to this is: You do not want him. These results are clear, why on earth would you want someone who can not appreciate your best efforts? Time to start moving forward…
  2. I messed up. You were too jealous, over-bearing, you cheated, made little effort. There are many ways to taint a relationship and you may have contributed towards its demise. However, you remain strong in feeling that you were still wanting him, so why doesn’t he want you? At this point, make a note of what went wrong, why it happened and what you could do in the future. Powered with the knowledge of what
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    posted by Abiola, 24th January 2011 Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Bucket List? How To Make A Beach Bucket List Instead (DIARY)

HOW TO: MAKING A BEACH BUCKET LIST (IDEAS)
Photo: Me in Harlem Shot by Joseph W. Carey. [Read about my photo shoot here.]

Passionista Principle: Blame, shame and guilt have no place here.

We all know about the Morgan Freeman – Jack Nicholson film The Bucket List, right? Two old, sick guys make a list of things they want to experience before they “kick the bucket” and are empowered in the process?

My BEACH Bucket list is a list of 20 things that I will accomplish and experience this year.To clarify, the Bucket List is what you want to do before you die. The Beach Bucket List is a list of things you want to do this year.

For your Beach Bucket List you might wanna start with actionable goals like: Confront a nemesis, Wear a bikini in public, Go up to a handsome stranger and say I have fallen madly in love with you, Buy an ugly guy a drink, Make amends, Go vibrator shopping, and Do something that absolutely terrifies you.


Beach Bucket with Two Sand ShovelsWe often live lives of suppression and self denial: no sugar, no fat, no carbs, no life. We say no to ourselves and say yes to everyone else. Yes to their rules. Yes to their needs. Yes to their wishes. Well suppression be-gone! We

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posted by Abiola, 22nd January 2011 Tags: , , , , , ,

How To Be A Ladies Man Without Being A Gross Disgusting Pig! (DATING ADVICE)

How To Be A Ladies Man Without Being A Gross Disgusting Pig! Dating Advice; First in a Series