5 Questions for an Engaged Black Man: Relationship Advice from Author Tazz Daddy
Writer Tazz Daddy Loves Being Engaged! Advice
Passionista Principle: “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” ~Rumi
Hey Rockstars,
To hear most of the media tell it, a man of color who wants to commit is as rare as the Loch Ness monster. Real life is much less extreme. Just ask relationships writer Tazz Daddy. Well, I did so that you don’t have to.Tazz Daddy is also a Life Coach and Empowerment Speaker from the Philly area. His newest book is “Common Sense Ain’t Common: A Practical Guide to Getting the Most Out of Life
.” Follow Tazz on Twitter @TazzDaddy.
.” Follow Tazz on Twitter @TazzDaddy.
5 Questions for an Engaged Black Man: Author Tazz Daddy
Abiola: Congrats on your engagement and your new book, Tazz. Obviously you convinced her that you were the one. How did your fiancee do to convince you that she was the one?
Tazz Daddy: Honestly, she didn’t have to do any convincing at all! The thing that makes our relationship so special is that it is built upon a foundation of true friendship. Deep down, I think that we’ve always loved each other, but we needed to grow up and go through life so that we could come together at the appropriate time.
She’s loving, nurturing, caring and EXTREMELY HONEST! She will tell me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear! If you can’t be honest with your mate, then that person is NOT “The One”
Abiola: Absolutely. The media makes it seem as if a man won’t commit unless he’s somehow pushed or manipulated. I disagree. Did you get engaged because you truly wanted to or did you feel pressured?
Tazz Daddy: After being in several bad relationships, the last thing ANY woman is going to do is pressure me into walking down the aisle. I’m at an age where I knew what I wanted and it was her. I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t move on anyone’s timeline but my own and I took deliberate action. She’s the woman of my dreams.
If I didn’t lock her down, some other man would have noticed her greatness and did the same. That was a possibility I couldn’t live with. So many women waste so much time with men who are non-committal for fear of being lonely. It’s a dangerous practice that seldom yields positive results.
Abiola: Yes! Well said. I always say that whether a person is faithful or not has very little to do with their partner. Would you agree or do you think that a woman can keep a man faithful?
Tazz Daddy: That question itself is problematic! So many women believe that there is something that they can do that will MAKE a man faithful. This is a horrible misconception. Being faithful is a choice that a man makes, like whether to wear jeans or slacks in the morning. While that sounds simple, it’s TRUE. If a woman is what we want and we’re MATURE enough to understand that being dishonest cannot exist in the same space as true love, you’ll choose not to cheat.
There are some men who are stupid and GREEDY who will cheat because they like the thrill. So aside from the fact that I love my fiancee with every fiber of my being, I don’t have the time to lie and keep up the deception,
Abiola:Good for you. Clearly you are a man secure with himself. Now, I say that it varies from couple to couple but in your opinion, as an engaged man, how much time do you recommend that a woman “invests” before expecting a proposal?
Tazz Daddy: There’s no such thing as a set amount of time to expect a ring. I know people who wait 5 years, get married, and divorce 5 months after saying “I do”. You know when you’re ready and if you’re truly with your soul mate, you won’t have to wait long. You’ll know where you stand.
Some women think that because they invest a certain amount of time into a relationship, that it should yield a positive result. This is not a good way to proceed. If you invest in a stock for years and tomorrow, the stock bottoms out, there’s nothing you can do. Certain investments will never pay off, but you have to invest to get any type of dividends.
Abiola: Okay, Tazz, break it down: which do you say is most important: love or finances?
Tazz Daddy: I’ll tell you what: One is a lot easier to maintain when you have the other! I’ve been with my lady when we were both struggling, and now that we’re successful in our careers, the only thing that has changed are our financial options. If you marry for money, your love is attached to the money and not the person you’ve pledged to love. I’m not saying that you should date a guy who lives with his mama at 30, but I am saying that you have to have love for a relationship to work.
Love will make you push yourself beyond what you think your breaking point is in order to bring home the bacon. If money is so important, look at any of the 3 seasons of Basketball Wives. These women are jet setting, buying awesome clothes and having amazing lunches, but they are BITTER, ANGRY & MISERABLE. Throwing money at a loveless union is like throwing a wrench at your car engine and expecting it to start.
Abiola: Excellent! Continued success, Tazz! I hope that people pick up your new book.
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If you enjoyed this you should also check out: How to Live Fearlessly, Diane Farr’s new book on Interracial Love and Mojito Salad at Native in Harlem.
Mojito Salad Recipe PLUS Love Tips: Don’t Forget to Drink Your Salad! (VIDEO)
How to Make A Mojito Salad: Cooking Recipe Video PLUS Abiola’s Love Tips
Passionista Principle: Living deliciously is the best revenge!
Hey Rockstars!
I miss you so much. It has been quite the hectic summer but in a fabulous way. I am finishing up my book — announcements and info in a month PLUS I have been writing up a storm for Yahoo Celebrity Site OMG! and Yahoo Shine and having a ball doing it. From now on I will make it a point to share with you here all of the goodies I’m posting over there. I promise!
Meanwhile I had time to drop into Native Restaurant in Harlem to learn how to make a delicious Mojito Salad with chef and owner Brian Washington Palmer.You can find Brian daily cooking up a storm in the restaurant’s kitchen. If you can’t see the Mojito Salad Video click here. We also talk about love, sex, dating and relationships — the goddess year…
It’s Bombshell Cooking, y’all!
?You should also check out my interview with Nathan Hale Williams at Native Restaurant. Nathan is the star of the Sundance channel show “Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys.” We also learned how to make a Lychee Martini at Native. Yum.
?You should also watch my Diane Farr interview and recent Women’s Empowerment Speech. This is what I’ve been doing with my lovely, hard-working summer.
How to Live & LOVE FEARLESSLY: Say "SO WHAT" to Your Fears (VIDEO)
Living Fearlessly at the Women’s Empowerment Summit
Passionista Principle: “Not enough money? Too old? Too young? So WHAT?” ~Abiola
Hey Rockstars,
A couple of weeks ago I was honored to be a keynote speaker at the NYC Women’s Empowerment Summit organized by entrepreneur Alycia Kaback. My talk was about hot to “Live and Love Fearlessly.”
The day was a bonanza of powerhouse speakers including Vivica A. Fox, Pat Addiss, Judith R. King, Valerie Smaldone, Chelsea Krost, Wendi Caplan-Carroll, Lubna Dajani, Gala Darling, Laura Fredricks, Judith E. Glaser, Vikki S. Ziegler, Sibrena Stowe, Abby Ellin and Fran Kirmser.
Phew! It was an amazing day. Check out my speech in the video above followed by reactions afterward.
Enjoy…
P.S. I also want to thank Sistaz Magazine for a great interview and for giving me the cover. Whoo hoo!
