How To Be A Ladies Man Without Being A Gross Disgusting Pig! Dating Advice; First in a Series
Passionista Principle: “It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.” ~W. C. Fields quote
When MTV asked me to be a Ladies Man Coach on documentary series “Made” due to my books, dating blogs and love advice videos, I had to really ask myself, what is a Ladies Man, anyway? Then I burst out laughing. Of course I was thinking about all of the sleazy, smarmy movie and TV characters, as pathetic as they want to be, with gold chains, fast cars and absolutely no game. Ewwww. Then I thought about being a teen. (No I didn’t have gold chains or cars!)
When I was a teen girl and just discovered boys I wanted the same thing we all want now as adults. I wanted to be loved, accepted and respected for who I was. I wanted to feel confident and feel good in my skin. I wanted to love the person I saw in the mirror. I wanted the boys to like me — and I wanted to feel great about myself whether the ones I liked liked me back or not. But most importantly at age 15, I really did want them to like me back.
I wanted, in essence, to be the female equivalent of a Ladies Man. I wanted to be “A Guy’s Girl.” A girl who could hang with the guys but was not their ‘sister.’ A girl who they thought was attractive and self assured. If I could have had a dating coach at 15 make me The Geekalicious One into A Guy’s Girl would I take it? Heck yeah. Especially because I went to an all girl’s school and didn’t know that many guys to begin with, but that is another story.
I called MTV back immediately and said, Yes!
- What a cool opportunity to be able to work with an impressionable teen at the beginning of his dating years and teach him what a “Ladies Man” really is and what a “Ladies Man” really isn’t.
On my web series and here on the blog we’ve spoken about things like street harassment, cheating and behaviors that guys may think make them a Ladies Man but just make them a jerk. What an incredible privilege to work with a young man to teach him what women really want in a boyfriend, and how those skills can work in his overall school and career goals in the future.
Meanwhile, here are my Top 5 Basic “How to be a ‘New’ Ladies Man” Rules. And who else but the pickiest woman on the dating scene to share them with you. These are just the basics. More fun to come…
ABIOLA’S NEW LADIES MAN RULES
(an overview; more to come)
1. Nothing turns a woman on like respect. You may have heard that women like bad boys. Correction. Nobody likes a complete jerk. [Bad Boy Rehab Video]
2. Women like guys who make us feel adored. Make her feel as if she is the only one in the world and you’re in.
3. We are more impressed by your great smile than your shiny car. Yup, it’s true.
4. A man who can’t commit with tons of girlfriends that he’s manipulating every which way is not a Ladies Man. He’s pathetic.
5. If you have no romantic leanings you will be put into The Friend Zone. It’s biology. More to come…
Now, I can’t tell you anything about my episode as a Teen Dating Coach on MTV’s Made, I want to Be A Ladies Man until it airs next week. You’ll just have to check it out yourself. If you’re in New York City come watch it with me on Monday January 31 from 6-9pm at The Soho Room at 203 Spring Street with great drinks where Smingle will keep us heaped in tons of delicious cupcakes and cutie pies. [invitation]
If you’re not in Manhattan watch it yourself on Friday January 28 at 4pm on MTV, enjoy, laugh, and let me know what you think.
Yay. Thanks for reading. You may also enjoy Positive Affirmations, How To Kiss, How To Have Bad Girl Sex, Should I Take My Ex Back and Help! My Boyfriend Is Best Friends With His Ex, Should I Forgive A Cheater? and Does Size Matter?