Is It OK to Date Your BFF’s Ex? Renee Daniel Flagler’s New Novel ‘Raging Blue’ Takes A Look!

Renee Daniel Flagler

October 1, 2012 • Hot Topics, Interviews, Relationships, single women • Views: 293

Bombshell Book Club: Breaking the girl code?

Hey Rockstars,

My prolific writer girlfriend Renee Daniel Flagler is back with a new book! You know that when it comes to fiction, Renee never disappoints.

When I hit the road with Renee for her Divas of Literature Tour I learned that she is as fun as her books. Here , we discuss “Raging Blue,” her newest juicy novel.

Abiola: Renee! So proud of you. What is “Raging Blue” about?

Renee: Blue Holiday has had enough! She reaches the end of her rope, her marriage, and her long-time friendship with BFF, Mia Reynolds. But now her husband, the infamous bad-boy baller, Jaylin Mack, is cut from the team because of his erratic behavior and without Blue he’ll be broke. Their chances of reconciliation are doused the moment a salacious secret is revealed. As far as Jaylin is concerned, if he can’t have his wife, living off her trust fund will do just fine. Problem is, he forgot a woman in love will put up with a lot. But a woman enraged is destined to make you pay for the pain that you caused.

Mia, Blue’s former BFF, has nothing to lose and everything to gain by making Jaylin hers. After all, he appears to be just what she’s looking for.

With his looks, money, and fame, he’s the perfect sponsor for her swanky lifestyle. She has no problem playing a few games of her own to get what she wants. However, when an unexpected twist of events brings her world crumbling down, she’ll come to realize that things aren’t always what they seem.

Abiola: Scandalous. So, how soon is too soon to date your friend’s ex?

Renee: Forever is too soon! I have always been of the mindset that once you’ve dated my friend, you’re off limits to me. I do lots of relationship discussions and articles and I get all kinds of feedback and sometimes flack for my strong opinions.

Some feel it’s okay, depending on the circumstances surrounding the breakup. I say it’s never okay.

Abiola: In your opinion, Renee, is your friend’s ex off limits for life?

Renee: Yes. The funny thing is that even if I was attracted to a man, once they begin dating a friend or family member the attraction simply goes away. I no longer look at them the same way. They get reduced to friend status and stay there. Once you’ve dated my friend, there’s no chance of us having any kind of relationship beyond friendship.

Abiola: So under what circumstances is dating your friends ex okay?

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Renee: In my personal opinion, there are no circumstances that make it okay. However, I will say this: I was once in the midst of an interesting situation where my ex passed away. His best friend and I began to spend a lot of time together comforting each other. There was such a void once he was gone. We understood each other’s pain, especially since we were all so close. We didn’t cross any lines, but I can certainly see how our relationship could have gone there if I were physically attracted to the friend.

He was there for me emotionally and that can draw you in. To this day, we have special place in our hearts for one another because we mourned together.

But there was never any kind of…chemistry…if you know what I mean. I can only imagine how things may have turned if were developed other feelings for one another or if there was more of a physical attraction.

Abiola: What happens when the woman makes more money in the relationship?

Authors Renee Daniel Flagler & Abiola Abrams

Authors Renee Daniel Flagler & Abiola Abrams.

Renee: I’ve always been fearlessly ambitious. So I assumed that potentially dating a man that made less than me would come with the territory. In some cases, the men seemed to be a little intimated. Other times, it didn’t seem to matter one bit. Does it make the man less of a man? With a “real man,” nothing is capable of making him less than a man. He will still hold his own.

When I made more than my man, I didn’t walk around acting like a man. I’m a woman. And he didn’t walk around acting like the lady in the situation.

Abiola: Do you think that in the event of a divorce, should he be entitled to spousal support or is this expectation evidence of a double standard?

Renee: In today’s world, unless you are making boat loads of money, no one really gets spousal support anymore. If he’s capable of working, why should he be entitled to her earnings if they are no longer together, especially if he caused the break up. As a woman, if we are divorced, I plan to take care of myself anyway. If there are kids involved, that’s different. Make sure the kids are taken care of and go your separate ways, holding your own!

Abiola: So what do you want people to know about this book in relation to your past books?

Renee: “Raging Blue” is just as deliciously dramatic as my other books. It’s loaded with jaw-dropping twists and turns with characters that leap off the page and get into your system. It has moments that make you say, “No she didn’t!” I do touch on a few unconventional items, like Blue, who dates a professional athlete, but she’s the one with the money. She didn’t marry him for his money because she came from wealth.

This presents an interesting dynamic in the book. And of course I delve into the touchy concept of dating a friends of exes.
Renee and Abiola at Barnes & Noble Booksigning in Brooklyn.

Abiola: Wonderful. Where can your fans and new readers get “Raging Blue”?

Renee: Raging Blue is available now as an e-book in all e-publishing formats. Get it on your Kindle, Nook, iPad, tablet or smartphones. The hard copy will be available at a later date. You can listen to me read an excerpt at my publisher’s website, Sitting Bull Publications, or you can read an excerpt on my website at

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8 Responses to Is It OK to Date Your BFF’s Ex? Renee Daniel Flagler’s New Novel ‘Raging Blue’ Takes A Look!

  1. Mel says:

    I look forward to the book!

  2. Nope it’s never okay to date your BFF’s ex unless you’re getting married and moving to another Country for good, never to be seen or heard from again!! LOL Great write up and the book looks like it will be interesting. ready!!

  3. Daniella says:

    Looks good!!

  4. Daniella says:

    There are always extenuating circumstances!! lol

  5. Lisha says:

    Great interview!!

  6. CleanUpWomanSpotter says:

    NO… there really aren’t. Even women who live in the backwoods of the south know there are more men in the world, other than the ones who’ve been with a bff/friend/family member.

  7. Liked the interview with Abiola and JaneB. Even began reading the excerpt.

    I totally agree, there’s no excuse to ever ‘get wit’ a friend’s former. Even in all my astro-knowing, knowing that there could be 5th/11th house karmic past-life ‘stuff’ that can nudge such a “no-no desire,” still…DON’T DO IT! The stars impel they don’t compel. Your sheer will power can thwart any ill desire. By doing so you prevent incurring more negative Karma. Liken to that gerbil on the wheel, Raise your consciousness, GET OFF THE WHEEL.

    To me, it’s also being lazy-in-love, or in this instance, lazy-in-desire. The person is “there”, chances are you already KNOW all about them via ‘the previous shares’ from your friend, or then-friend, so you figure, “why not?” Not! Cease satisfying instant gratification and watch how your spirit O P E N S…Evolves. <3

    Again, great share! Thanks Renee Flagler & Abiola Abrams for this positive share.

  8. Eric Martins says:

    Lets get this clear straight and clear Unless its term bff that i did not understand, Come on friends are not supposed to only be there in good times.
    How can you and even how do you start? What if she first finds out that there is something wrong before she knows that you are the something wrong, she comes to you crying with her problem how would you help?
    All i say is if this was to get good honest opinions, myn is it not and never right not even close top being wright.
    I think thats why i gave up on all this friendship things, doing online jobs in south africa has helped me a lot to stay busy