Suddenly Single, Chica? Here’s How To Jump Back Into the Dating Pool After Divorce (GUEST POST)

Divorce Decree

November 7, 2012 • Advice, Guest Contributor, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Love, Sensuality, single women • Views: 242

You’re finally free! Congrats. Here’s how to get back in the game of love, dating and relationships… Dating/relationship expert Sheila Blagg of Divorce2Dating, an online social networking site for divorced and single individuals, offers some personal insight for single individuals looking to kickstart their dating lives.

After divorce or a long-term relationship, you may find it difficult to start dating.

I feel the reason for this is the existence of too much pressure being placed both on you and the need to date again. The loss of a relationship takes a toll on you, making time an important aspect for rebuilding. Don’t be afraid to allow yourself that time. When you make the choice to start dating again, remember it’s not a full time job or a lifelong commitment. The dating scene is different, as are you, and that’s normal.

Dating is meant to be a fun adventure.

So often people tend to over think dating, and make it more into it then what really should be. If you were married or in a relationship with the same person for a long time, do you know what you are looking for? You are very familiar with what you don’t want, but your wants and likes may change daily.

The best advice that I can give someone who is going to start dating after a divorce/break-up is, just JUMP, and have fun. If you’re looking at this as something that you have to do, then you are not ready! It is normal to be nervous, and have butterflies, but it truly is JUST A DATE.

If you over think dating, you will make it harder on yourself making it nearly impossible to enjoy it. You are not going out to put everything on the line, get married, or share you deepest secrets. You are going out to have a good time because you deserve it. More importantly, give yourself a break.

It may not be easy for you, you may not enjoy it. It may be very uncomfortable for you, which is all okay. Don’t feel bad or give up, it does get better, I promise!!

To alleviate some of the pressure from a first date, try going on a group date or even one with another couple. This tends to break the ice and allows your friends to be the “buffer.”

(Trust me it works- I have gone on many dates with my best friends!)

You can take this time in your life to try things that you have always wanted, but felt held back and never did. Go places, try different activities, take classes, change your style, anything is possible. It truly is up to you!

Here’s the rundown:
  • 1. Give yourself time. If you’re going to invest in anything, invest in yourself.
  • 2. Remember it’s just a date! You’re not interviewing for a new spouse or parental figure for your children.
  • 3. Don’t compare your date to your ex. Everyone deserves a chance to be themselves, just as you do.
  • 4. Realize the dating scene is not the same as when you might have last dated, expect new and exciting things!
  • 5. Don’t try to be something you’re not. If this relationship is meant to happen it will because of who are.

About Sheila Blagg’s site Divorce2Dating:
Divorce2Dating is a networking tool to assist recently separated or divorced individuals find new relationships. Sheila Blagg and her team at Divorce2Dating.com are committed to providing support for those in interested in counseling, legal services, and guidance for rebuilding their future. The goal at Divorce2Dating.com is to offer assistance, whether needed for saving a marriage or supporting an individual through their divorce, bringing to light the emotions involved in every aspect of divorce. 

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5 Responses to Suddenly Single, Chica? Here’s How To Jump Back Into the Dating Pool After Divorce (GUEST POST)

  1. Bill Conyers says:

    Been there — done that!! lol

  2. Ossie QT says:

    This is good for long term relationships too — not just divorces. Thanks.

  3. Kim says:

    ME!!! lol