Answers to a common question these days. This post helps couples with children from previous relationships ease the awkwardness & frustration that can occur when combining households. Yipppeee for actionable & concrete tips. Also, please check out my archived AbiolaTV advice video, “When Should You Introduce Your Children?” ~aa
It has become more and more common for couples with their own respective children from previous relationships or marriages come together under one roof to form a new family together. While it can be possible for two families to come together fairly seamlessly, this is often not the case. There are a number of dynamics that come into play in these complex relationships and it often takes a great deal of time and effort to combine families into a new, harmonious unit.
Each family is different and is coming together under different circumstances This means what works for one set of individuals might not work for others. The important thing to remember is that harmony will usually not happen overnight, and expecting the transition to occur quickly might set you up for disappointment and worst of all, frustration and anger.
In order for families to combine, there must be respect and willingness from all participants. There are going to be a wide range of emotions coming to the surface, and there may be strains put between the families. In order to open a dialogue, you must insist that every member of the new combined family treat the other family members with respect. In turn, you can assure that individual he or she will be accorded the same respect.
One of the areas of contention that causes a lot of problems is determining which family member gets which room. While it would be ideal for every member to have his or her own room, that is often not possible.
Boys and girls should have separate rooms if possible. While rooming together is not a problem when the children are very young, as they get older, it is important to provide them with privacy and security. Sometimes, boys from different families may have to room with each other, just as girls might.
If the blended children are rooming together, it is important to provide each child with something that is personal to him or her. This can help to offset any feelings of resentment raised by having to share a room with someone who is not his or her biological sibling.
In order for the families to combine successfully, there needs to be constant dialogue between all family members. Feelings have to be acknowledged, addressed, and accepted. If there are members of the combined families that are having conflicts, those conflicts have to be brought out into the open and discussed, no matter how small and insignificant they might appear to be. If a small problem is allowed to fester and grow, it can become a significant problem in the future.
One of the most efficient ways to combine two families is to create memories of the combined families. For example, you might consider planting a tree on the property where the two families live, with each of the family members helping to take care of it. This tree can act as a living testimony to the new family.
In this digital age, it might be appropriate to create a social network page for the new family, with which to share photos, videos, and also to just stay in touch with each other.
While it might not always be easy to combine two families, it is important to remember that the end result will be worth it, providing stability and support for those within the newly combined family, and eventually a happy and loving environment for all members to grow and prosper as individuals.Featured images:
- License: Creative Commons image source
- Main Photo from the blog Good Enough Mother. com.