Ask A Man: First Date Advice From Doctor Nerd Love! What Men Don’t Want Us To Know
Dr. Nerd Love dispenses love, sex and life advice for geeks, otaku, dweebs, poozers, nerds and the occasional neo-maxie-zoom-dweebie. He usually helps geeks learn how to get the girl of their dreams. Dr. Nerd Love got started as part of the League of Extremely Ordinary Gentlemen, and is the not-really-a-secret identity for Harris O’Malley, author, photographer, a digital artist and illustrator and a podcaster.
n an exclusive just for us, the romance lovin’ folks at Costume retailers AFD, interviewed the famous advice giver
n an exclusive just for us, the romance lovin’ folks at Costume retailers AFD, interviewed the famous advice giverto discover what the true ingredients are for a great first date, and how to spot any signs that may have you waiting by the phone or shopping for a new date outfit. This is quite a coup (perhaps even an epic one) as the good doctor usually only dispenses his stealthy advice wares to men…
Q: So Dr. Nerd Love, is there a formula to the best first date?
Doctor Nerd Love: Ideally you want to avoid the standard first date of “dinner and a movie”. It’s boring, its cliché and it doesn’t really allow for either party to get to know each other. Ideally, you want something more interactive, even a little playfully competitive – bowling, miniature golf and social dance classes all make for great, different first dates.
If you’re going to go for drinks, go some place where you can hop from one venue to another – go to one place for drinks; maybe go see a band at another, then a third for dessert. Changing venues helps make the two of you feel as though you’ve known each other for longer than you actually have and helps you feel closer.
Q: What is the best outfit to wear on a first date?
Doctor Nerd Love: Dress for who you are, your “stereotype” if you will. You want to express your personality and your identity, and clothing is an outward indicator of that. A problem arises when you’re trying to dress for who you think you “should” be rather than who you *are*. If you’re more punkish, then you’re going to feel uncomfortable wearing more conservative, work-friendly clothes. Similarly, if you’re a corporate type, you’re going to look out of place wearing a biker jacket and boots.
The most important factor, however, is to wear something that *fits* properly. Too many people don’t wear clothes that fit either through ignorance or trying to hide perceived flaws, and it always detracts. If it’s too small, it causes you to look like you’re trying to fool yourself. If it’s too big, it makes you look slovenly.
Q: Are there any signs that tell you right away that this isn’t the right person for me?
Doctor Nerd Love: Pay attention to his behavior. Are they interested in or respect your hobbies and interests or do they dismiss them? Watch how they treat others – someone who’s rude to the wait-staff or employees is someone you don’t want to date. But most of all trust your instincts. Your gut intuition will let you know if there’s something wrong.
Q: Are the theories on body language good to go by?
Doctor Nerd Love: When in doubt, you want to have confident and relaxed body language. This means good posture and a more “open” positioning; crossing your arms in front of you, turning your torso away or holding a drink across your front are signs of feeling defensive and closed-off. Strong eye contact and a genuine smile are signs of interest and that you’re enjoying yourself.
Q: Are there any tell-tell signs that a man won’t be calling you?
Doctor Nerd Love: One unreturned call or text is happenstance. Two is cause for suspicion. Three means he’s probably not calling back, ever.
So there you have it ladies, the perfect formula for a first date. Ensure you present yourself in a way that’s true to your nature and personality, relax and have fun. Don’t over think and put too much pressure on yourself, at the end of the day, your potential prince charming wants to impress you as much as you do him.
Men are known to be great disguisers and taking Doctor Nerd Love’s notes on board, if the guy doesn’t get in contact with you after your initial two calls or texts, leave him be, your time is better spent on a new date rather than sitting by the phone!
This interview was conducted with panache by AFD. If you’d like to find out more dating advice from Doctor Nerd Love, take a look at his website here.
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