“Four Ways To Ruin Potential Relationships Before They Start…” Thanks to “We Love Dates” for the great advice post. Sending light, love, power and presence to “GMA” anchor Robin Roberts, just back from her bone marrow transplant! -aa
Most of us have been there: a good first date leads to a great second, third date. Before you know it, things seem to be heading towards exclusivity but then, BAM. It’s over. Sometimes, there’s warning, and sometimes, things just seem to fizzle. No one likes to be on the receiving end of a relationship ending with little to no warning.
Here are 4 things to avoid so that your relationship keeps going and you get a real shot at getting to know your potential partner.
1. Don’t get overly clingy.
We love chocolate. We do. But I can distinctly remember one time when I ate a ton of it, day after day, and after a few days, I never wanted to see it again. Relationships can be the same way. Giving one another space to live your own lives doesn’t mean you don’t care, it just means that you’re independent and solid.
Avoid killing the relationship by texting too often (keep that 1:1 text ratio in mind), make plans that don’t involve him/her, and continue to do things you love. Conversely, encourage your partner to see friends, to maintain their interests and enjoy their life outside your budding relationship. Also, remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder. If this relationship is built to last, it’s great to give one another some space!
2. Stop getting crazy on social media.
A friend of mine started dating a new girl and she went through and “liked” all of his photos on Facebook.
She replied to every single status he posted and checked them in on dates and went through and inquired about all the female friends he had. The final straw was when she asked a girl who the hell she was when she commented on one of his photos and said she had fun that night…the girl was his cousin. Too much! A guy I dated once read through every single blog post I’d written and brought things up in conversation. It was weird. In short be cool. It’s fine to check out their stuff, but keep that stalking on the down low!
3. Know when to stop the game-playing.
Everyone likes the chase and the early stages of a relationship can be really fun. That said, it’s no fun to wonder if someone likes you. There’s no need to drop the I love you super early, but there’s also no need to keep hooking up with other people or turning down plans to appear busy. If you’re interested, behave as if you are interested and gently let them know, not just in kind words, but also in behavior.
4. Don’t pretend to be something you aren’t.
Be honest about who you are. If you hate football, just say that — but don’t ruin the game for them. If you really like something, start to share that with them. Hopefully, the old standby of ladies playing dumb and guys pretending to be tough and macho all the time has gone by the wayside, but if not? Drop that, too.
In short? Let the relationship develop. Have fun!
The early stages of the relationship should be all butterflies and getting to know one another. Take it slow, be yourself and enjoy!
Featured images: License: Creative Commons image source.
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