Why You Should NOT Be Getting Married! Relationship Red Flags From “Kim’s Fairytale”

Is there any news we can use from the hot mess known as “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding?”

Passionista Principle: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…

Hey Rockstars,

This article is re-posted from my Yahoo Shine column.

5 reasons not to get married: Kim Kardashian’s divorce as a cautionary tale

Whether or not Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries is another chapter in a perfectly executed (read phony) reality TV saga, there are lessons for us fab everyday goddesses to learn from “Kim’s Fairytale Divorce.”

So, you meet someone and are convinced that this is the one. Congrats, lovey! A proposal is made and you both begin planning a life together. You set a wedding date, invite your loved ones and it is all systems go. You’ve got the ring and now all you need is the minister.

You have heard all of the reasons why you should be married, right? You love each other. He seems to be what you’re looking for; and most importantly, you’re tired of being single. You should absolutely get married, right? Maybe not. Slow down, friends. There are reasons that you might want to reconsider.

Why You Should Consider Not Jumping the Broom

1. It’s all about the wedding for you.

You have been planning your wedding non-stop. You have the perfect color scheme, your favorite flowers, and impeccable linens. Have you put equal time into planning the marriage? The wedding is great but then you need to come home and live with your partner.

Ask yourself this question: would you elope to be with this person? In a statement released on her blog Kimmie K. said, “Everyone that knows me knows that I’m a hopeless romantic! I love with all of my heart and soul. I want a family and babies and a real life so badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon.”

If it’s all about the wedding and not the marriage then you may want to reconsider getting married.

2. Your friends and family hate him.

Our families don’t always like the same people that we do. Heck, we don’t always enjoy being around our families. For the most part, however, the people around us wish the best for us. If they don’t then we need to reevaluate who we allow into our inner circles.

If one member of your family or one of your friends feels that your boyfriend or girlfriend rubs them the wrong way that’s one thing. If the supposed love of your life disgusts everyone you know then this is something to think seriously about. “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” watchers know that Kris Humphries seemed to be at odds with several members of his wife-to-be’s family. This is certainly a red flag.

If your significant other is disliked by more than one member of your innermost circle, then maybe they are seeing things that you are blind to. Re-consider your decision to get married. “Us against the world” is only romantic in movies.

3. It’s too soon.

Some people may know that he’s “the one” after a week; others know after six months. However, it takes real time to get to know one another. In the beginning we are only meeting someone’s representative. It’s like being on a job interview. We all put our best faces forward at first. It takes time to get to know someone’s core and inner self.

A whirlwind romance is the stuff that novels and Hollywood movies are made of. In real life you will not be played by Kate Hudson. It will be you, your man, the bills and real life on an every day basis. Take the time to get to know if you can live with this person on a daily basis.

4. The train is already moving.

It can be a challenge, once you’ve already announced the love of your life, to backtrack. Trust mama. Been there, lived that. You may have mailed the invitations and been in the newspaper as the happy couple. So what? If you sense that this is not for you, you have a permission slip at any stage in the journey to reconsider. If not, you may pay for the situation later.

Kim explained on her blog, “I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people.” Everyday goddesses get caught up with the hoopla, too. But we don’t marry hoopla. We marry a person. Take a breath and take a break.

5. You have differing values.

If your partner wants to live the quiet family life in Minnesota and you want to live the glamorous life in Beverly Hills, then you are at odds. There is nothing wrong with his choices or yours. Neither one of you is wrong. However, you may be wrong for each other…

 

To finish reading this article on Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Get Married, you’ll have to head over to Yahoo Shine.