Online Dating Advice

If you’re single you should be dating online. Why not increase your options? However, you want to make sure that your online dating approach is as sharp an optimized as your cute “in the club” look. Recently, I wrote “4 reasons your dating profile gets no play” for my Yahoo Shine column. Be sure to check it out! Thanks to our friend and my fellow relationship expert, Susannah Perez, for this post. Make sure you’re avoiding making any of these classic mistakes on you profile, and keep the “Catfish” crazies away! -aa

Anyone who has dated online knows what a minefield dating sites can be.

Constantly trying to dodge people with the wrong intentions, people who are exactly what you’re not looking for, and those who are just plain bizarre can be oh-so-exhausting. Even if you manage to get a date with someone who looks “normal” and seems emotionally stable, it can often turn out that they’re not exactly how they had presented themselves in all those heartfelt messages you’ve exchanged…

Now, you may be thinking, how does this happen? Why do only the unbalanced and weird want to date me?

Well, my gorgeous friend, let me tell you. There are numerous mistakes online daters make on their profile, whether it’s your suitors or you – so let’s run down the top four, and maybe we’ll save you from that ream of unsuitable suitors.


1. Using Out-of-Date Photos.

If their profile picture is grainy, pixelated or clearly displaying a 90’s haircut, stay well clear – they ain’t gonna look like that no more, and the change may well not be good. And, let’s be honest here, you’ve gained at least two stone since your photo was taken, as well as a few wrinkles. Be forthright, people, it’ll do you good in the long run.

2. Not Being 100% Truthful.

Though you may have visions of going on country walks with a sexy outdoorsy type, if you don’t own a pair of boots or sneakers and leaving the city makes you hyperventilate, cut the crap. You are who you are, and if you don’t let others know that then you most likely won’t be attracting good matches.

3. Disclosing ALL Your Heart’s Desires.

By all means, honesty is the best policy, but don’t disclose every single thing on the planet about yourself – you’ll look ever so slightly nutty, and there won’t be anything left to find out about you. So, to be clear, listing ‘cats’ as one of your interests is fine. Making a video about how much you love them for you profile is not.

4. Being Locked into Overly Detailed Expectations.

First of all, no one really knows (completely) what they want – your ‘ideal’ partner might be a blonde, floppy-haired, 6’2” rugby player with a passion for organic vegetables and Deal or No Deal  but you might be destined to fall for a dark-haired librarian who you can’t wear heels around and hates Lenny Kravitz.

Expressing ridiculous criteria for suitors is going to narrow your field substantially and put potentially great people off messaging you. By all means, say that you’re 5’9” so taller men are preferred, or that you don’t drive so partners within your zip code in the US, STD code overseas, are favored, but don’t get down to the nitty gritty on your profile – save that for later.

And that’s the real deal. Pass this advice on to someone who needs it.

Do you date online? What other mistakes have you spotted on people’s profiles? 


Susannah Perez is a relationship expert and a bit of a computer geek who has spent too much time on internet dating websites. She currently blogs for White Pages.


Featured Image License: Creative Commons image source. Photo by Don Hankins. Some Rights Reserved.

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