Ladies, Should You Propose to Him? Dos, Don’ts & Won’ts of the Lady Proposal

Ladies, Should You Propose to Him? Dos, Don’ts & Won’ts of the Lady Proposal

May 30, 2013 • Advice, Hot Topics, Lifestyle, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Love, single women, Video, Wedding • Views: 108

We’re based in New York, where many women don’t even want to be married. With statistics, and breakups and careers, oh my!

This post is aimed at women who want to be wed, however, and yes, we still believe in love. Hint: for women who want to tap into their feminine power I say leave proposing to your king. If you’re the woman and the man, where does he fit in? For masculine energy women, I’ve got 5 tips for you to make your proposing a success. Dig in…

Greetings Gorgeous,


This is a create your own fairytale blog. After all both Love University and the Passionista Playbook are about you having the strength and power to manifest your dream life. Not my dream – yours. Our aim is to support your personal mission and give you the tools to get to wherever you want to be. Would you expect any less from a site headed up by a Passionate Living life coach?

Marriage proposals typically come from the man. We mean that in several ways (!!) as in patriarchy the wedding was traditionally the father handing over ownership of his daughter to her husband. Things have changed and now women — and men — can choose what works for them. One great thing about Marriage Equality, in addition to the right to marriage for everyone, is that women, men, gay, straight, black, white and all of us have an open door to examine what kind of marriage, if any at all works for them.

As I coach women on how to find personal power by accessing their inner feminine magic, my coachees are usually wanting to be “the woman” in the relationship. In other words, this post is advice for feminine energy women in love with a masculine energy man.

If you’re a masculine energy woman and your partner is a feminine energy man, then there’s no question. Go for it! Propose away. He will welcome you taking the reigns. However…

The real deal.

My advice and personal opinion for feminine energy women who have a masculine energy man is DON’T DO IT. Your man should be courting you with full awareness of your goal to be married. If an alpha man is not making his intentions clear towards you (write this down) HE HAS NO INTENTIONS TOWARD YOU.

You never want to ultimatum or manipulate anyone into being with you. You’re too fabulous and self-loving for that! A man standing firm in his masculine energy will propose to you if he honors, cherishes, adores you and — wants to marry you. You will then respectfully accept or reject him. This is also true for anyone of any gender who embodies the feminine energy balance in the relationship.

There’s no timeline on how early to propose. When it’s right it’s right. If you have loved the person for 6 months there is no more guarantee if you’ve loved your sweetie for 6 years. (Don’t wait years though!) I know a couple who jumped the broom after 3 weeks and are the most loving couple you’d ever meet — although this also is not recommended for everyone!

If you’ve been dating for a while and tick-tock, your guy is lazy rather than proactively manning up to be fully with you, simply explain that of course he has the right to do whatever he wants but the current situation is not a positive one for you and you’re going to have to reluctantly and very sadly move forward separately. That’s not an ultimatum. It’s a statement of your clear intentions.

For those who are on the path to proposals, we offer 5 tips below to make it count. Good luck!

Self-Love Coach and Relationship Advice Columnist Abiola

5 Tips to Proposing Like a Rockstar

Nervous about popping the most important question in your life? Want to make the event special and unforgettable? Don’t want to make the mistakes that most people make? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then the following article is for you.

Here are a few useful tips that you should keep in mind when proposing to your sweetheart:

1. Know the answer.

Have you really discussed the aspects of marriage with your boyfriend or girlfriend? If your answer is no, you should do that first. Don’t rush into buying an engagement ring before you have both made your feelings clear just in case your partner isn’t ready to say “yes.”

2. Do some window shopping.

Unless you’re planning an awesome surprise, always go out window shopping with your patner before you buy the ring. Window shopping can take place online. No matter how well you know your love, the choice of ring may be different than what you think.

Your loved one will be wearing this ring for a long time (hopefully) – knowing what kind of style she likes is crucial before you invest in the ring. You don’t have to go from store to store for window shopping. You can shop online from the comfort of your home by browsing a reputed jewelry store such as Front Jewelers.

3. Seek permission for first marriages.

Jim Jones and Chrissy Lampkin - VH1On the VH1 reality show “Love and Hip” Chrissy Lampkin invited the ire of rapper Jim Jones’ mother when she planned a huge poposal to her groom without asking mama first. In the olden days it was much more common to ask permission from a parental figure before popping the question. It shows respect when you seek the approval of the family. Not only will this look mature on your part, you’ll also end up impressing her closest people more by doing so.

If your sweetie is not close to family then do skip this step.

4. Keep it a secret.

Such an event is obviously going to be a big thing in your life, which makes it really difficult to keep it a secret. However, if you want your proposal to remain a surprise, don’t tell anyone close to the bride about it. The family will come to know about it when you ask permission, however, they don’t necessarily need to know about the proposal details like location, time and date. Most of the time you can count on your close ones to keep a secret, but if someone tells due to slip of tongue, the surprise will be ruined.

The exception is if you want to get besties to approve a ring or need their cooperation to pull the whole thing off.

5. Be creative in your approach.

Most people who plan to propose see it as a “once in a lifetime” event. So it only makes sense to make this special moment even more special. Make sure you choose a memorable place, such as where you had your first date or kissed.

Be as creative as you can and plan out every simple detail. Set out a real romantic tone or just be surprising. But most importantly, keep it simple and have fun while doing it because your proposal story will be cherished for a long time.

Finally, once you’re done proposing – let your hair down and celebrate this special moment in the best possible way. Whether you do it with a romantic dinner or by presenting red roses, see to it that you truly celebrate this amazing moment together.


Consideration was received for the editing and publishing of this article.

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